June 24th: How to be confident in six steps

Hello Lovies!

Well here we go:

  1. You can’t

There are no simple steps that we can take in order to be our best self. There is no easy remedy and no magic pill. BUTT there are steps that start you in the right direction.

It is wise to note that in the vast universe and in all of time and space, and all the memories and events that have formed each and every one of us the steps are not universal. They are mere suggestions stemmed from personal experience.

Before ongoing with my hypocritical list, take a dip breath. Sit on your bed and realize that failing is inevitable and welcome.

  • Allow all emotions through
    • We tend to think of confident people as having all of their eggs in a row or some other cliché saying.  But what most confident people will tell you is that emotions are not the enemy
  • Fail forward
    • Not only is this the motto that my university prides itself on, it is also a motto that is relevant to everyday life. Failure is inevitable, the reaction to failure is what defines the outcome.
  • Reflect and adjust
    • In the same tune as embracing emotion, understanding emotions is even better. This means that when you are angry, sad, failing, or any other emotion or action that isn’t making you feel your best, engage it. Self-reflect and sit down. Figure out why you are angry, why you aren’t passing this class, or writing this song. Once we figure out the why, we can move on to the what’s next.
  • Be obnoxious
    • This is a fine line to walk. We all know the advice of fake it till you make it. I more enjoy exaggerate till you find your balance. If someone says you look good, say “Thank you, but I mean when do I not.” When I was first becoming more confident in myself, I realized that a major stumbling block was how much I couldn’t handle compliments. So I decided that not only was I going to accept them, I was going to let them inflate my ego. Little by little, I allowed myself to accept that the compliments were true, and I no longer needed the extra self compliment to make me accept them.
  • Talk to yourself.
    • Couple ways to do this: Buy a mirror, get a journal, start recording yourself. Find a way to force yourself into needed conversation. Before we have everyone else, we have ourselves. Gaining confidence always has to start with us. So start talking. Talk about what makes you insecure, talk about what makes you happy. Become so in tune with yourself that reflecting and being aware are second nature. Now when someone makes you angry, you know why and you can adjust.
  • This is a forever process

    • This to me is the most important step to realize. Becoming a confident person is not something that can be accomplished in a week, a month, or even a year. This is something that you will have to make a conscious effort for everyday. Once accepting and believing yourself starts occurring that does not mean that it will be easy all the time. We must as wonderful humans keep working on ourselves.

Let me know what steps you have taken to become a more confident you. See you soon!

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