Seven Swans a Swimming

Think of this like a bloggers “Vlogmas” except this is like eighteen days into December and I only have seven days left so this is a much condensed version.

It took a while to figure out what I wanted to write about and what I wanted to share and then it was handed to me on a silver platter.

So, once a year my supervisors send out a survey to my residents and they anonymously fill out a survey about my performance and what they really feel about me. And when things are anonymous, people do not hold back. Most of the comments were nice ..”She’s nice and has made this hall feel like home” then there were the half nice/ half truth “Like her, but she can be a little intimidating” and then a resident let out all the frustrations they’ve ever had on me. I can’t share the whole thing but the least hurtful line was “She is one of the least approachable or helpful people I have ever met and only interacts with me when she is absolutely forced to…”

Then, earlier today  I got the grade back from  one of the toughest classes that I took this quarter. I worked so hard, studied, asked for help, memorized, learned, did absolutely everything and I still only barely passed. So I did what every normal person does. I was/am sad. I cried. I mourned the loss of a job well done.

These two simultaneous incidents definitely do not get into the holiday mood and I am having a little trouble getting back into it.

I wanted to spin this into a jolly tale of how my day improved and how I had some good news on top of the bad news — woe is me — I have not found this.

But I want to end with this… sometimes you have bad days, and that’s it. They’re just bad. And the kicker…? You are allowed to have them. You are just not allowed to rot into them. Have your bad day, go through the motions of mourning. Pick yourself up and move onto another day. Do not rot and dwell and dive deeper into the sadness.

The only way forward is up…. see you tomorrow

P.S. As always the featured image is from this insta

 

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