The Reason is Irrelevant

“I mean nowadays it’s your story they care about…. it’s not so much the grades and the test scores they just want to know more about you…”

Usually code for “If you can come up with a sad sob story about financial or family hardships then you can guilt them into letting you in.”

There is a couple reasons why this mentality and the set up of job/school applications suck:

  1. Your story is only valid if your past was riddled with troubles.
    1. I hate this because your story is your story. I am not a fool who doesn’t understand that some people come from terrible backgrounds and harsh beginnings and want nothing more than to start over or follow their dream. I understand, respect, and empathize but for those who don’t it can make you feel stunted.
    2. there is a moment where you think to yourself that your validity is non-existent because there has not been hardships in your life. That you do not deserve to be where you are because you haven’t had to “fight for it” THIS IS WRONG 
  2. You have to have a reason 
    1. When you apply to college they ask you to write a personal statement. You have to write why you want to come to college. Why you deserve to come to their school. What will you gain and what will you add…
    2. Why can’t the answer be truthful. Why couldn’t I write that I wanted to go to college because education is pushed upon us. I like school sometimes. I deserve it because I want it. I did well in school, I applied, I want a job….
    3. Simple… There is this notion that you have to have a justifiable reason to want something. For example: I recently just bought a wallet that was pretty expensive and everywhere I go the question is always why did you buy it… blah blah blah…
      1. The answer? I bought it because I WANTED IT. THAT’S IT! And that should be it. I do not need a reason to want what I want. 
      2. Why do you want a boyfriend? WHY NOT?
      3. Why do you want to be a doctor? I WANT TO
        1. People want you to have a deep felt reason they want you to lay your life out and say that you love people, you want to give back to the community, you want to rid the world of curable diseases….
        2. For me: I love it and its a successful position. Of course I have my own battles that I have faced and have overcome… but why does that have to be my reason…

I guess what I am trying to say is: If you have a dream, if you have a longing or a “passion” then go for it. You do not need to explain yourself to anybody. You do not need to validate anyone’s need for a rich backstory. You are allowed to want what you want. No explanations. You are your own validity. You owe no one an explanation for wants… believe that…

DISCLAIMER: I am not advocating selfishness and lusting after money. I do not believe there is any fault in wanting to do something because it helps keep you financially afloat but again don’t fall into the worldly trap of pursuing money. I am also not saying screw anyone over for the sake of what you want. Stay in your lane and want what you want. No explanations!

P.S. If you don’t agree, challenge me. Let me know why i’m wrong



  1. Aarti

    I can empathize with your answer because this is somewhat what I felt when I applied for colleges a couple of years ago- I couldn’t really find a hardship that I’d been through in my life that I wanted to write about, or one that I was comfortable writing about. Looking back though, I’m surprised that now I can find plenty of small hardships that I go through which I write about on my blog. I think that the reason they ask you for all that is so that they can see how you face problems in your life- I think its more about that aspect of it. What is your attitude towards facing hardship? How do you think about hardship after you face it? What do you do with that experience?

    The same thing with giving a reason for why you want what you want- sure, there are times I want things just because I want them, and I completely agree that there is nothing wrong with that. But, usually some of the bigger things in life, like pursuing a college degree, I think can be justified with your reasons for why you didn’t pursue another path or choice. So, why not take a year or two off? Or why not just get a job, or start a business or participate in a family business? I do agree though, that these can be hard to talk about because many families expect their kids to college right after high school and do not really consider if their kids or ready or not. At times, kids who don’t pursue college are looked down on by peers, and that really shouldn’t be the case. Everyone is free to choose their own path and should pick the one that is right for them.

    Liked by 1 person

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